The Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection

My friends and I went and saw the WWE Smackdown and ECW tapings at the Sprint Center last night. Yes, I’m willing to admit I’m totally lacking in class and taste, and my interests froze somewhere circa 1998. Example: the biggest pops by our little trio of geeks were when C.M. Punk used the line, “I find your lack of faith disturbing” and when Chris Jericho said, “I’m the best there is at what I do.”

Star Wars references from a straight-edge punk rock wreslter? Wolverine quotes from a Canadian to another Canuck (Edge), thus making it a Canadian hat trick and therefor making it the ultimate maple leaf experience ever?! Holy shit!

STONE COLD!

Anyhow, to get back on track…every time we get together to watch wrestling, I inevitably get hung up on the music. Every wrestler (or, as the WWE refers to them, “superstar”) has their own entrance theme. These themes are either composed by Jim Johnston — who’s done the majority of themes with which you’re familiar, like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s “Breaking Glass” or the Rock’s “Know Your Role” — or by your usual array of absolutely middle-of-the-road hard rock acts.

I understand that Vince McMahon wants to get every bit of money he possibly can, which is why the entrance themes are either composed in-house by Johnston or licensed, such as disappointing dreck like Mercy Drive or Drowning Pool. But, when you know for a fact that they can occasionally get it right (i.e.,Motorhead or Killswitch Engage), it’s a damned shame to hear generic riffs coming out of the PA.

The rule as to what works for WWE themes seems be this: an instrumental intro of about ten seconds, followed by loud-quiet-loud, which allows the songs to easily back a montage. It’s even better if the songs have a big “boom!” aesthetic to them, where the video editor can drop in a big hit. Cases in point: “Big Time” by the Soundtrack of Our Lives, P.O.D.‘s “Boom,” and Saliva‘s “Ladies and Gentlemen,” which really ought to just be used for every Wrestlemania from this point onward.