The Real Housewives of New York City: An Update

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By JEN CHEN

In case you missed last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, here’s a rundown of the activities by onetime Fort Scott resident Alex, who didn’t make much of an appearance. She and her Simon, gay/not-gay husband are still in St. Barts. They prefer it to the Hamptons, you know, because there, they can relax. At the Hamptons, it’s just too much work to be social and make contacts, etc. (read: no house or friends there). Anyway, they get away from the kids and have dinner by the water. As they gaze at the ocean, their conversation goes something like this:

Alex: This is gorgeous.

Simon: It’s almost as gorgeous as you.

Alex: It’s as gorgeous as the boys and you. I’m so happy. We’re so lucky!

[A couple of minutes later]

Alex: I really love you in brown. [He’s in a brown shirt.]

Simon: You know I like shopping. I like shopping for you.

Alex: I like shopping for you!

I think they stole that bit of dialogue from this episode of The Simpsons, when Homer develops a crush on Mindy, his new co-worker. Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes makes a guest appearance.

Klink: My job is to show you how miserable life would be if you married Mindy instead of Marge.

[He takes Homer’s hand, and they fly into the air]

Homer: Ooh! I would live in a big mansion?

[Homer and Mindy play tennis while Jeeves looks on]

Mindy: I’m so happy, darling.

Homer: I, as well. Are you happy, Jeeves?

Jeeves: M’yes sir, quite.

Homer: Then we’re all happy!

Klink: Let’s get out of here…