The Poor Canucks

Woe, Canada! It is natural for our neighbor to the north to have an inferiority complex. After all, any country created by legislative decree and suffering from a never-ending dearth of international prestige is bound to have self-esteem issues. Even the Canadians’ plan for world domination is passive: waiting for the effects of global warming to destroy the United States’ agricultural base while its own remains intact. Canada’s sporting history is similarly nondescript — its greatest sports triumphs are the result of drugs (Ben Johnson) or Dominicans (the 1992-93 Blue Jays). The Toronto Blue Jays, baseball’s representatives of our snowbound and insecure neighbors, hope to boost the mood of the Canadian citizenry tonight. The Blue Jays play the Royals at 7:10 at Kauffman Stadium (Interstate 70 and Blue Ridge Cutoff) in the first of a three-game series. Toronto’s lineup features potential Hall of Famers Frank Thomas and Scott Rolen. Tickets cost $9 to $230. Call 816-504-4040.

April 25-27, 2008