The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a movie. Kinda.

Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) in Nintendo and Illumination’s The Super Mario Bros. // Courtesy Universal

From almost the moment it was announced (Chris Pratt? Really?) Nintendo’s The Super Mario Bros. Movie faced an uphill battle. First, there’s the often-repeated adage that video game adaptations rarely work onscreen. Then there’s the fact that the previous attempt, 1993’s gonzo Super Mario Bros., is so maligned that it’s practically been wiped from the face of the earth accessibility-wise.

This time around, Nintendo—the house that Mario built—put all their mushrooms in the basket of animation studio Illumination, the plucky folks behind the Despicable Me universe. Teen Titans Go! To The Movies creators Michael Jelenic and Alan Horvath being brought on to steer the ship should be another ingredient in a recipe for success. Keyword: “should.” That promised magic is, unfortunately, lacking here. As gleefully candy-coated and poppy as it looks, The Super Mario Bros. Movie is largely devoid of fun or engaging entertainment.

As the movie begins, brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) set out to become independent plumbers. Having sunk their life savings into a local commercial, dreamer Mario senses they’re one big job away from making it big. When a giant water main bursts in Brooklyn, the overall-clad brothers spring into action, only to find a strange green tube lurking under the streets that sends them on the adventure of a lifetime.

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far away, the evil Bowser (Jack Black) has found the Superstar, an item of immeasurable power that he plans to use to convince the Mushroom Kingdom’s Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) to marry him. Or else he’ll destroy the universe. No pressure. 

Kids will probably find much to like in The Super Mario Bros. Movie. It’s cute, colorful, and moves at a breakneck pace. There are dumb, goofy beats that will easily distract tykes from ages 0-10. Visually, the movie is also stunning; beholding the Mushroom Kingdom and the fine details on Mario and Luigi’s clothing is an undeniable joy.

Unfortunately, The Super Mario Bros. Movie isn’t content with that group being its target audience. There are countless obscure nods and winks that will likely only cater to long-time video game fans over 30. Anything that isn’t there for kids (who typically aren’t that picky) only works for adults, and adults usually want something better than the bare minimum effort.

It’s not hard to imagine writer Matt Fogel trapped in a room with a random number generator, with each number corresponding to a game reference from a list of Nintendo-approved possibilities. 

Studios and their (paid) stars have recently been expounding the virtues of seeing a film in a theater. The Super Mario Bros. Movie stands as a counterpoint. It’s best to wait for this to hit a streaming service you already subscribe to, letting kids watch it in the next room ad infinitum while you focus on something more productive…like your taxes or your mortgage. You know, adult stuff.

That may sound cynical, but consider that for a film under 90 minutes, The Super Mario Bros. Movie feels interminable. Sure, the occasional teenager or adult might be amused by the ceaseless barrage of references, but everyone else will constantly be checking the time, only to nod when a tiny blue flame-like cherub exclaims, “There is no hope, only the sweet release of death.”