Study: Your mother is most likely not an astronaut

If you harbor dreams of one day using your Mega Millions winnings to start and populate a colony of floating humans on a space station far, far away from this ghastly planet of ours, we come bearing some unfortunate news:

Space isn’t good for your baby-making parts.

At least that’s what a University of Kansas researcher is predicting, based on recent experiments involving floating, fucking lab rats.