Studies in Crap gapes at SUCK IT UP Buttercup!, the only cut-and-pasted self-help book you’ll ever need!

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

SUCK IT UP Buttercup!

Author: Robert D. Cass

Publisher: Morgan James Publishing, New York

Date: 2007

Discovered at: Donated by Mark Lisanti

The Back Cover Promises: “Finally, a book that leaves nothing up to chance. Absolutely every word us put to good use.”

Representative Quote: “This is important, everything else is BOGUS don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Keep going. Keep going. Keep your desire burning, keep it burning, burning, burning, burning, burning, burning. Keep the fire burning. Don’t stop. Ever. Don’t Stop. Ever.” (page 71)

At first glance, SUCK IT UP Buttercup! inspires something approaching awe.

For more than 400 pages it hollers and pants like some demented pep-squad, chanting that you should keep going, ignore the BOGUS, and for God’s sake SUCK IT UP. Paging through this the first time, agog at its shapelessness, its run-ons and repetition, its hectoring positivity, I could almost feel the spittle flecking off author Robert D. Cass’ lips.

 
Consider this burst from page 21:

“Whatever it takes is what you need to do. Whatever it takes, whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Don’t ever, ever stop. Don’t ever stop. Never ever, ever give up your right to keep going and keep fighting and keep striving to be everything you can be. Fight for your right to be successful and don’t take no for an answer. Fight, fight, fight. Keep going, don’t stop. Don’t stop fighting. Keep going, keep going, who cares what anyone thinks?”

You see, the eighth habit of highly effective people is reading page after page of gibberish.