Studies in Crap and Teen Beat Magazine Kill the Video Star

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist

brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from

area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do

this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

Teen Beat Video Rock Stars Magazine

Author: Probably

whoever it was who first used the words “monetize” and “youth

culture” in the same sentence.

Date: Fall,


Discovered at:

Willie Aames’ garage sale.

The Cover

Promises: Michael Jackson has been pinned down like a frog in

Biology 101.

Also: Someone

needs to invent Photoshop.

Also: Willie

Aames, who is not in the magazine, touched this long enough to sign




“When the leading

jean manufacturer and one of the hottest rock and roll groups join

forces, you know that something big is going to come out of it. Well,

those fabulous five Canadian Loverboys and Sassoon jeans have decided

to capitalize on just such an alliance!”(page 32)

“But what is this

band called INXS? Many just call them ‘six lads from Australia.’ One

word they forgot to include in that sentence was good-looking.”

(page 58)

Categories: News