Shark Stories

Self-proclaimed “DJ Driver” Mark de Shark generously carts rockers home post-performance, presumably so they can waste themselves onstage without having to worry about local transportation after the show. Imagine the firsthand accounts garnered from the back of his vehicle. We doubt we’re alone in our familiarity with en route, you know, activity — and who hasn’t succumbed once (often) to the appeal of musicians? Regarding the third tenet of that lifestyle … well, we won’t incriminate ourselves in print. But we bet Mark has seen it all.

That untold wealth of peculiar stories isn’t his only noteworthy quality, though. You’ve doubtless seen the former Have a Nice Day Café music man around town: full-length black trench coat; long, curly, dark hair; shades; black fedora. A loud, husky voice betrays his penchant for hard rock even before he does, and he speaks in an irregular cadence, so his voice mail message sounds like this: “Mark de Shark: D-J, Dri-ver. Please leave a name, num-ber, mess-age.” Then it inexplicably ends with an Elvis impersonation.

His business card is equally distinctive. Beneath his name and title (all caps, of course) is a tooth-baring shark and the words “MUSIC SAVES LIVES.”

“That’s really my philosophy,” the sober chauffeur says. “If I can DJ and make people happy, then life is good for a while.”

That’s why this week we love Mark de Shark. — As told to Annie Fischer