‘Sexual Satisfaction Will Not Stop the Shrew From Nagging’: Studies in Crap talks marriage with Dr. Roy Branson Jr.
Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
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A Bill of Divorcement Volume I: But And If Thou Marry
Date: 1994
Discovered at: Waldo estate Sale
Representative Quotes:
“If marriage is to have any chance of being mutually fulfilling, both partners must ignore modern notions about the place of men and women. The feminist-liberal-Marxist ideas do not work, never have worked, cannot work, and ought not work!” (page 169)
“DO NOT MARRY ONE WHO LISTENS TO ROCK MUSIC.” (page 103)
Like skirt-lengths and the Dow Jones, the relative craziness of America’s craziest preachers serves as a kind of cultural thermometer, rising and falling with the times. In his ladies-smell-bad marriage guides of the late ’60s and early ’70s, Tim LaHaye sought to restore traditional “family” values in a country gone mad while still teaching the very ’70s belief that maybe a man should get his wife off, too.
That’s a far cry from the primness of crazy preachers both past and future, including LaHaye himself, who gets through his entire Left Behind series without once reminding men about the clitoris.
By the Clinton era, America’s crazy preachers had come to mistake neuterhood for a principle. From Dr. Roy Branson’s But and If Thou Marry:You see, by the ’90s, crazy preachers had reached a new consensus. From Dr. Roy Branson’s unmelodiously titled But and If Thou Marry:
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Not if you’re doing it right!
