Scientists prove St. Louis is hell on earth, Kansas City purgatory

Kansas City has no shortage of assholes, killers and fat people. It’d be fair to wonder if this was actually hell with all the sinning going on. Thankfully, scientists have finally done something worthwhile and measured everyone’s malevolence with brightly colored maps.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Kansas State University researchers spent a lot of time and public money putting together a group of sin maps measuring the propensity of evil from county-to-county, state-to-state, all across the United States. They grouped them by the seven deadly sins: wrath, lust, gluttony, greed, envy, pride and sloth. They used readily available stats like rate of STD transmission for lust and violent crime for wrath. The good news is that, compared with the rest of the country, Kansas City could be doing a lot worse.