Royals Promotional Ideas

By CHRIS RASMUSSEN

Umbrellas don’t protect fans from what’s on the scoreboard.

Over the weekend, the Royals stumbled upon the one promotional idea guaranteed to sell out the stadium:

Blow up a lot of shit and blow it up real good.

The Royals will try a number of promotional schemes this year. Some, like Friday, involves blowing up things in the sky. Some, like the Billy Butler jersey giveaway, will blow up in the Royals face. Whatever the case, unless the Royals play National League teams for the rest of the year, the Royals need promotions and giveaways in order to draw fans to watch a dismal team.

Here’s some suggested promotions:

Mike Sweeney Commemorative Bobblehead Night: Once you make the head bobble, the doll will immediately have back spasms, rendering it useless for years.

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