Rap the Vote
“I’d like to introduce my muthafuckin’ DJ Dick Chizz-eney on the beat box. [Cheney: Puh-pa-tsh, puh-pa-tsh, a wack-a-wack-a-waka.] Yo, yo, I said my name is G-Dub/But you can call me G-love/’Cause all the fly bitches wanna wear my glove/My jimmy hat, and you know it’s 10 gallons/Of crude, dude, I could give a fuck if Bob Dole thinks I’m rude/I may have stole the election, but at least I can get an erection/I’m the second son of the Virgin Mary/If you’ll profit from World War III, don’t vote for John Kerry … Pennsylvania Ave., represent!” OK. Maybe that’s not what the organizers of Rap the Vote have in mind. Fewer pasty Texans spitting verse and more local talent touting voter registration. The odds are also pretty good that local hip-hop heads such as Joe Good (uh, pictured), Ces Cru, the Guild, Human Cropcircles, OnJaLee, Reach and a whole mess of DJs will bring smoother flows, tighter rhymes and far more bumping beats than Dick and Duh Führer.