Quiz Show
For the most part, the audience at the Pitch Music Awards was attentive and respectful. So, everyone who was there should ace this post-show pop quiz. As for the rest of you, take your best guesses. The answers are at the end; the full list of award winners is posted at pitch.com.
1. As he accepted his unprecedented seventh straight trophy, Tech N9ne said:
(A) “Seven means the highest point of happiness.”
(B) “I’m twisted like a pretzel. I’m mad salty!”
(C) “Who’s going chicken huntin’?”
(D) “Where my dogs at? No, seriously, anyone seen the Rogue Dog Villians lately?”
2. While accepting an award in place of absent country crooner Rex Hobart, Recycled Sounds owner Anne Winter started an impromptu auction to benefit ailing singer-songwriter Alejandro Escovedo. The prize, a fashionably loud button-down shirt, went for $70 to:
(A) Blow singer Mark Reynolds, who decided that a brash flower print would be the perfect complement for his now-omnipresent basic-black priest costume.
(B) The Anniversary, which will add a few flower-power buttons and showcase the chemise of many colors in its next Rolling Stone photo op.
(C) Truth Cell, because you never know when a brutal metal outfit might need to show its sensitive side.
(D) Descension, which plans to sacrifice the shirt in a grotesque fabric-ripping ceremony.
3. When DJNotaDJ won the Best DJ/Electronic Music Award, some spectators were surprised to see a four-piece take the stage to accept. What’s the story?
(A) It’s a turntable collective, like the X-ecutioners, only with mostly white, hippie-looking dudes.
(B) It’s a conceptual rock band capitalizing on the angst of area musicians who have seen DJs take over their time slots at local bars and restaurants.
(C) It’s a drum-‘n’-bass group that uses conventional instruments to create songs that are, on record, indistinguishable from the work of its electronic peers.
(D) The band consists of four members, each of whom has only one arm.
4. Whenever Myra Taylor sings at a Pitch function, rockers and rappers alike are awestruck. However, there has been no subsequent spike in attendance from outside-of-genre observers at her club gigs. Why is that?
(A) In hipster circles, 18th and Vine is considered to be a fictional, Oz-like creation.
(B) Taylor’s performances are too perfect; she must be a hologram.
(C) Other performers feel insecure because an octogenarian’s concerts are significantly more sex-charged than theirs.
(D) There is no excuse for this.
5. At one point, event cohost Shawn Edwards extolled the virtues of “cross-genre love.” The impetus of this observation was:
(A) A sordid scene involving Mark Reynolds and Best World Music nominee Gerald Trimble‘s array of exotic stringed instruments.
(B) Best Female Vocalist winner Liz Nord‘s straddling of Shotgun Idols frontman Assclown Timmay (her husband) during the VIP preparty.
(C) Tech N9ne’s hair spikes becoming entangled with Descension’s armband variety.
(D) Folk nominee Justin Petosa, Tech N9ne and two of guitarist Mike Alexander‘s roommates accepting the Gadjits‘ award.
6. Salt the Earth, the Gadjits and Rex Hobart, each of which won two trophies, all failed to show up to claim their prizes. This was because:
(A) Like everyone else, they were hanging out in the smoking room.
(B) All of these acts were hard at tour.
(C) There is no Salt the Earth, only Zoul!
(D) Hobart and members of Salt the Earth and the Gadjits have joined Bersuch to form a new supergroup: the Malachy Papers.
7. When Irish band the Elders took the World Music Award, reggae music wafted from the sound system. What’s the deal, yo?
(A) Brent Berry, long presumed relocated, is actually haunting the Uptown as the phantom of the rasta.
(B) Show scorer DJ billpile didn’t have enough jiggery in his crates.
(C) You never heard of the Black Irish?
(D) The song in question was a sample from the Elders’ forthcoming follow-up to American Wake, titled Jamaican Wake and Bake.
Answers: 1. A (and it’s great that Tech feels that way, because we’re considering cutting him off); 2. A; 3. C; 4. D; 5. D; 6. B; 7. B
