Pitch Forks
TALK ABOUT “I TOLD YOU SO” …
In the first Arbitron ratings since KLZR 105.9 dumped its alternative radio format for Top 40, the station lost nearly two-thirds of its listeners. The Lazer went from a 1.4 of the market share last summer to a paltry 0.5 currently. Ironically, this coincided with the blood alcohol level of KLZR’s programming staff rising from 0.5 to 1.4. — Jon Niccum
DO THEY ALLOW THIS ON EBAY?
An unidentified Hungarian posted a photo of a woman on a Web site and encouraged Internet surfers to bid on her virginity. The auction was a prank, and the names, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses of the top bidders, along with their letters to the woman, were posted on the site. The highest bid came from an employee of the Fox network, who invited her to participate in a new show that will be called Who Wants to Be Deflowered? — Andrew Miller
THREE STRIKES, YOU’RE OUT …
Yankees outfielder Darryl Strawberry received a year’s suspension for violating Major League Baseball’s drug policy. It was Strawberry’s third drug-related suspension in five years. Although the veteran slugger will be ineligible to play baseball again until he is 39 years old, his over-the-hill age and questionable criminal history make him a perfect candidate for the Kansas City Chiefs. — Jon Niccum
THE OTHER WHITE MEAT…
A chef at a fashionable restaurant in San Jose, Calif., admitted to substituting pork for veal because he felt it provided a better fit for the recipes. The meat-swapper has been suspended, and the restaurant, Bella Mia, is being investigated for false representation. Bella Mia has hired a publicity firm that is contacting local synagogues to apologize to people whose religion prevents them from eating pork. However, a spokesman for Bella Mia said these groups shouldn’t be concerned, as its “pork” was actually low-priced donkey meat. — Andrew Miller
BAD NEWS FOR BAMBI …
Clinical trials at New Zealand’s Otago University indicate a link between deer velvet and improved athletic performance. According to the study, athletes who took a powdered form of the velvet, which is the substance that covers growing antlers, improved their isokinetic strength and muscular endurance. These findings contradict the results of a test conducted in San Jose, Calif., in which a group using deer products fared no better than a control group that was using a pork-based placebo. — Andrew Miller
MAYBE THEY SHOULD FILM THE REAL WORLD IN WASHINGTON, D.C. …
MTV Networks is under federal investigation for antitrust violations stemming from purchasing a competing music video channel called The Box. The company already acquired competitor VH1 in 1999. The investigation alleges that the network is trying to corner the music video market, but MTV is confident that there is no violation because it hasn’t actually shown a video in the last five years. — Jon Niccum
