Pitch box hijacked to teach kids the founders loved Jesus

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Charley Morasch, quit stuffing your American government packets in our boxes.

Evolution hatin’ Charley Morasch has an important message for America, so either he (or some passionate fan of his) has addressed the people through the most powerful means possible: stuffing a shitty pamphlet into the Pitch box in front of the Half Price Books on Metcalf. This is the modern equivalent of nailing theses to the church door.

The pamphlet, credited to Morasch and titled “American Government Supplemental Mini-Course,” proves once and for all that some of America’s founding fathers were big on this Jesus guy.

It also reveals that our heathen public schools don’t tell the kids this, and that this is a terrible crime, and that the kids need to stop reading Beezus & Ramona or tracing hand-turkeys or whatever and instead memorize that one thing John Quincy Adams said that one time.

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