Pee Party: Knuckleheads Saloon

  • Surveying the facilities at Knuckleheads.

Pee Party is an irregular column in which we investigate local bar restrooms.

We stopped in at Knuckleheads about a week ago to take in a tribute to the music of George Jones, Ray Price, and other old-school country musicians who died in 2013. It was a fantastic show. The guy on pedal steel was particularly great. While there, we drank several tall Budweiser cans, which resulted in several trips to the restroom. There are many individual stalls to sample at Knuckleheads, and we sampled all the ones we were allowed to enter.

There are two restroom areas at Knuckleheads. One is just past the outdoor stage. The men’s outside is a one-holer with a lock and ample space. The walls are decorated with old album covers – Pat Boone, Porter Wagoner, Connie Smith, James Taylor – that lend the room a friendly, ramshackle feel. Worth the trip outside, we say.

Sometime in the last year, Knuckleheads did a little remodeling of its indoor restroom area, which is a little hub between the entrance/merch section and the gospel lounge. We’ve been there enough times since, and our memory is so poor, that we can no longer remember the way it used to be. But the past is meaningless! We forge on!

The way it is now, there is a women’s room, two men’s stalls, and a handicapped unisex stall. There is no door to the women’s room, but we’re told that there are two stalls inside, both of which are doored off. Ladies are also permitted to use the adjacent handicapped unisex stall.

Handicapped (disabled? We can never remember which one is PC) stalls are always the best, and at Knuckleheads it’s no different. You can really stretch out and get to work in there. There was some extra toilet paper and some cleaning supplies in that orange cabinet.

One of the men’s rooms has a toilet, and the other has a urinal that is sometimes filled luxuriously with ice. The one with the urinal also has a convenient shelf above the urinal, which can be used for resting your ice-cold Budweiser tallboy can on or for chopping up cocaine while you urinate. We used it for the former.

In the men’s toilet stall, there is a gap between the door and the wall that allows a little sunlight in. If you were a jerk, and your friend was taking a shit in there, you could peek through the gap and, if not get a good photograph, at least serviceably torment him. Also, the wall between the urinal stall and the toilet stall does not go all the way up to the ceiling, so a person could, in theory, toss whatever items might be at hand – ice, wet paper towels – over it to confuse and harass the person in the other stall.

To sum up: For its chicanery-friendly setup, its eccentricity, and the privacy it affords, we award Knuckleheads 9 points out of a possible 10 for its restroom facilities. This has been Pee Party. See you next time.

Categories: Music