Oh Jason Whitlock, you never disappoint …

I asked for “strange tang” but I got “Pussy Galore.”

Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock has delivered his Steve Phillips sex scandal column and his rules on who gets to have affairs.

Did you make the cut? Whitlock says:

I say a moderately famous man earning between $250K and $500K a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly, one week-long, $8,000 vacation he can take with his mistress and five strip club nights with his boys a year.

A moderately famous man earning between $500K and $1 million a year should be allowed a mistress he can see weekly and every other weekend, a 10-day, $15,000 vacation with his mistress, a $1,500-a-month, fully-furnished apartment for his mistress and seven strip club nights with his boys.

Any man earning more than $1 million a year should come and go as he damn well pleases.

Whitlock’s pay grade puts him in category No. 2.