Off the Couch
“We’re still running around in our pajamas and haven’t played a game yet, but the thing that’s most exciting to me is that I think this [Chiefs] defense is going to be very, very good. … Offensively we’re going to be sound.”
— Al Saunders, Chiefs offensive coordinator, WHB 810
“If you ever want to see a beautiful thing, come by our neighborhood about 4 or 5 in the afternoon and see [Mike] Sweeney out there with no shirt and a pair of Speedos on, cutting his grass.”
— Tony Richardson, Chiefs running back, who lives six houses down from Sweeney, KMBZ 980
“If you can’t afford Mike Sweeney, you can’t afford to play baseball. I think [signing Sweeney] is just a must. Basically you’ve just got to give him a blank contract and tell him, ‘Mike, just fill it in, sign it and send it back in.’ The Glasses must pay it or they must sell the ball club. That’s reality. It’s got to work with this guy or baseball doesn’t work in this town and doesn’t work with this owner.”
— Soren Petro, 980
GH: Every once in a while Petro reminds us of the potential he showed as a youngster in the mid-’90s on KCTE 1510 as Pete Enich’s original producer and eventual cohost.
“[Chad Durbin] will win at least fifteen games this season — at least. I think this kid is a little different cut than most pitchers. He reminds me of Steve Busby. I think he’s going to be one of the great pitchers in the American League.”
— Al Fitzmorris, on the Royals’ young starter who had six wins as of Sunday, 980
“The reason [Joe Torre] picked seven Yankees [for the All-Star Game], or eight or nine for that matter, is simple: for the same reason a dog licks himself. Because he can.”
— Art Theil, columnist, Seattle Post Intelligencer
“I’ve never even seen what [a diaphragm] looks like. I didn’t even know people still use them. I thought that was from the ’70s or something. I use the Pill.”
— Magnificent Megan, discussing a Woody Paige column in the Denver Post reporting that Invesco executives privately refer to the Broncos’ new Invesco Field as “The Diaphragm,” 810
