Not to be outdone by Missouri, Kansas will now try to get rid of its strip clubs

Sick and tired of everyone stereotyping Kansas as an anything-goes pansexual pleasure palace, lawmakers are finally taking a stand to regulate strip clubs and adult bookstores.

The newly proposed “Community Defense Act” — which makes it sound as if huge rogue titties are rolling over innocent citizens in the street — would restrict new adult businesses from opening

within 1,000 feet of a school, park, library or residence; would force them to close at midnight; and would ban alcohol sales and prohibit physical contact between dancers and customers.