No More Dumb Xmas Songs — EVER!

How many times can you hear “Jingle Bell Rock” or “The Little Drummer Boy” without wanting to bash your head right through a drum? Exactly. Recover your holiday cheer with a bon vivant evening with Ron Megee, who delirously channels former Kansas City resident Joan Crawford. The show is directed by Megee’s frequent partner-in-camp Jeff Church. Trailing a suffocating fog of her signature Tuvache Jungle Gardenia and with her faithful maid, Mamacita, at her side, the woman born
Lucille Fay LeSueur dispenses her inimitably batty and wrong-headed advice on men, grooming, entertaining and life. Let’s not even mention closet organization. Come celebrate A Very Joan Crawford Christmas at the Unicorn Theatre (3828 Main), through December 26. The curtain rises at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $30 at 816-531-7529 or unicorntheatre.org.

— Grace Suh

Wednesdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 12, 3 & 6 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 18, 11 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 19, 6 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 26, 3 & 6 p.m.; Dec. 28-Jan. 1, 8 p.m.; Sun., Jan. 2, 3 p.m. Starts: Dec. 11. Continues through Dec. 26, 2010