Night & Day Events

Thursday, May 12,
Sure, it’s easy to make lawyer jokes. Know how to save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head. But we can’t hold too much against the attorneys of the world when they’re helping others — and poking fun at themselves. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? Today’s Law Day 5K Run and Ambulance Chase Fun Run (their words, not ours) starts at 8:30 a.m. in front of the University of Missouri-Kansas City Law School (5100 Rockhill Road) and costs $23. Don’t fret — these lawyers-to-be aren’t pocketing the cash; it’s going to three local legal associations, including Legal Aid of Western Missouri, which helps people who otherwise couldn’t afford a lawyer. And that’s no joke. Call 816-474-6444 for more information.

Friday, May 13

Culturally minded hotties to ply with free wine? Art on the walls, just begging to be discussed? The pickup scene at gallery openings seems foolproof, but sadly, we’ve never had much success. Maybe we’ll retire our old trusty line (“So, do you, um, like the art?”) and slip into something a little sexier in honor of Smut‘s opening at the Green Door Gallery (1229 1/2 Union Avenue) from 7 to 10 p.m. A group show centered on erotic art is not the usual Kansas City gallery fare, so we’re hoping that the eligible bachelors in attendance make small talk about the beauty of the female form rather than blurt, “Naked boobies!”

Saturday, May 14

The L.M. Alcott Art Center (180 South 18th Street in Kansas City, Kansas) needs a new boiler, but instead of the traditional pleas for funds, its leadership has come up with something a little different. Tonight’s 1955 Alcott High School Graduation Dance is an unscripted, improvisational murder mystery that uses the entire building. Organizers promise that it will be a good time for all — “all but one, that is,” they say, strangely leaving out the evil Vincent Price laugh that often follows a statement like that. Attendees are part of the show, so they’re encouraged to dress in ’50s costumes — poodle skirts, saddle shoes and, well, whatever else the cast wore in Grease. Other high school dance necessities, such as punch to spike and chaperones to mock, are included in the evening’s activities. No word yet on the miserable wallflowers or the girl who throws up on her shoes in the bathroom. But we’re sure if that’s a role you’re willing to play, the Alcott folks would be happy to accommodate you. The show starts at 8 p.m. Call 913-233-2787 for more information.

Sunday, May 15

As we sit here typing this, in our little cube with its view of downtown, we are engaging in an experiment. We are talking to the hot-pink Nalgene bottle on our desk, the same one we refill multiple times throughout the day from the water fountain down the hall. To the water inside, we are saying, “I love you” and “thank you.” At the same time, we are envisioning all the bodies of water on the planet connected together. Now our love and thanks have been sent to all the water on Earth through the water in our Nalgene — or so say the followers of Masaru Emoto, author of The True Power of Water. Emoto himself comes to town on May 24, but in preparation, a water-blessing ceremony based on his research starts at 2 p.m. today at Loose Park’s reflecting pond (51st Street and Wornall). Water samples will be taken before and after a prayer ceremony led by Gary Langston, co-creator of Buffalo Lodge, known to his peeps as Red Bear Who Sees All Worlds. See www.emotokc.com for more information.

Monday, May 16

We’ve said it before. We’ll say it again. We love excuses to get dressed up. It’s kind of like that expression: If everyone jumped off a bridge — and they were doing it in cute skirts — we would, too. And on a Monday? Well, it’s almost too good to be true. Tonight (as on every third Monday of the month) from 6 to 8 p.m. the Cup and Saucer (412 Delaware) holds an informative $30 wine tasting that includes five samples, each specifically paired with an appetizer, and a bottle of wine to take home. It’s a seated event, and it’s … semi-formal. We are very happy campers. Call 816-474-7375.

Tuesday, May 16

Listen, we fully support Kansas City’s Gay Pride Week. And we think it has the potential to be an incredibly fun and festive celebration. But that’s if, and only if, the organizers promise never to bring Crystal Waters to town again. Period. As far as we know, this year’s Streetblast has no such intentions — confirmed performers include American Idol finalist Kimberly Locke — but just to make sure, we’re going to the general meeting tonight at Balanca’s (1809 Grand). If you want to join our crusade, meet us there. The time is still up in the air, so call James Pryor at 913-706-0641 for details.

Wednesday, May 17

So you fancy yourself a writer, do you? Here’s a chance to prove it — and you don’t even need an agent. New Letters, a magazine of writing and art published by the University of Missouri-Kansas City, has held an annual literary awards competition since 1986, and the 2005 deadline is today. It offers prizes in poetry, fiction and creative nonfiction — $1,000 for first place in each category and publication in the mag — and the entry fee is only $15. Just so you know, this isn’t like the essay contest in fourth grade where the judges were, like, your math teacher and the school crossing guard (sadly, the last contest we ever won). Serious lit celebs are in charge of weeding out the crop’s crap; last year’s poetry judge was Cornelius Eady. For complete guidelines or to submit electronically, see www.netletters.org/awards.asp. Call contest coodinator Amy Lucas at 816-235-1168 for more information. This