Naismith’s first basketball rules were almost lost forever at a Kansas City Hooters

The family of basketball founder James Naismith needs some cash for its foundation, so it’s getting ready to auction off the first-ever rules of basketball — 13 guidelines that cover dribbling, passing, and, rule No. 7, never fucking over your hometown during a nationally televised special.

But the story of the rules, as told by the New York Times, takes a bizarre tour through Kansas, where the rules apparently almost wound up in the hands of an excessively busty — and attentive — waitress. To the block-quote mobile!