Muy Excelente

When traveling to a foreign country, we try to learn the rudiments of the language so as not to seem so tackily American. In our experience, the two key phrases to know are ¿Habla Inglés? and ¡Más cerveza, por favor! Such was the case with our recent trip to Spain — where, we’re delighted to report, the manpri (male capri pant) is HUGE, as is the unisex Euro-mullet (a.k.a. the Iberio-mullet), a less floofy version of its American counterpart.

Though our trip wasn’t work-sanctioned, we still felt it our civic duty to consume as much sangria as possible — a goal that was not hard to achieve. And upon our return to the States, we tried to prolong Vacation Mode for as long as possible by heading to La Bodega, a Spanish tapas restaurant on Southwest Boulevard.

We met Research Assistant Betty outside on a Friday night. “There are a lot o’ fou-fou chichis in there,” she warned. Inside, it was as if Sex and the City had exploded. The place was packed, so we hovered by the Gaudi-inspired mosaic bar until the nice hostess waved us over to two stools at the end.

Once perched, we assessed the situation. The bar area isn’t separate from the restaurant, which results in a large, open space that seems intimate. You can’t help but check out everyone else. “It’s unique to have a cross between the restaurant and bar,” explained Todd Sandnes, one of the managers. “It’s part of the charm, I think, though perhaps it wouldn’t have worked without the handpainted walls and mosaic bar.” Alas, Betty wasn’t a fan of the setup. “It feels like I’m setting my ass on someone’s table,” she grumbled. It did feel a little claustrophobic; there was a dinner table directly behind us. But Cindy, 26, who was there with Team Cleavage, had another take on it.

“This is a very social atmosphere,” she explained in a raspy voice. “It’s a gossipy place — you’re like, oh, there’s so-and-so with so-and-so. You see people you didn’t know were hanging out together.”

We didn’t see a certain so-and-so — namely, another member of our party — but went ahead and ordered the Sangria Rojo: red wine, brandy, orange liqueur and assorted fruit juices with thin orange and apple slices bobbing about. The delicious, robust mixture was a bit sweeter than the versions we had sampled in Spain.

Sure enough, after we drank, RA Gina materialized. Our Girls’ Night Out now complete, we noticed many other GNOs, too. There were the married GNOs, the singleton GNOs, and GNOs with the stray GNG (gay/not gay) guy friend tagging along. Then there was the BNO (Boys’ Night Out) sitting next to us.

Dave, 37, a self-proclaimed La Bodega regular, provided helpful running commentary while his friends were busy hitting on Team Cleavage. “Most people don’t come here for the bar, but it’s a cool, fun scene,” he said. “It’s definitely someplace that feels like it could be in Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York … it’s a young type of place where people are worried about their fashion sense.”

We could see that, especially when we spotted a chick in a tight, brown halter dress that made her resemble a sausage. She and her date had been all touchy-feely at the bar, which also reminded us of Spain. However, the quasi-lap dance she was giving him (he sat on a stool with his legs splayed while she wriggled in between them with her back to him) was somewhat shocking for KC.

“That’s, uh, very demonstrative,” Gina said.

“Is that synonymous with fuckin’ nasty?” queried Betty.

When we turned back from our cackle huddle, Lap Dance Couple had gone, leaving us to speculate that they were having sex in a car under the highway. That disturbing image called for more drinks, so we ordered the Sangria Blanco (made with white wine) and our collective new favorite, La Stiges Rum-tini, made with Barbancourt Reserve “5 Star” rum, crème de banana, crème de cacao and cream. The banana taste was not overwhelming — just like we like it — and it tasted like candy. We quickly sucked those down.

Sandnes told us La Bodega wanted to offer something besides the typical vodka martini. “We want to introduce people to new things,” he said. Karen Scholle, another manager, said the place draws a big dinner crowd as well as the bar crowd late at night and on First Fridays. She also alerted us to the happy-hour deals (2-6 p.m. Monday through Friday and 2-4 p.m. on Saturday), when all dinner-menu tapas and certain drinks are half-price; sangria and draft beers are also half off from 10 p.m. until midnight Monday through Friday.

Though there was nary a manpri or mullet present, we still loved the Hispano-flair of La Bodega, lap dance notwithstanding. And now we know how to say Más rum-tinis, por favor.