Mission: Das Boot

Before I begin, I, Valerie Plame, want to inform the people that this investigative report was intended to be available to the public the day after the incident on which I am about to report. However, it was deemed necessary by Dick [CENSORED] [CENSORED] and Donald [CENSORED] that they review said report for any and all content containing [CENSORED] W. [CENSORED]. Subsequently, the release date was pushed back by a day.

It came to my attention in the summer of 2007 that a group of comrades in Kansas City had devised a plan to re-create scenes from the movie Beerfest at Waldo Pizza’s new [CENSORED] Taproom (where my ghost writer, Lorna Perry, moonlights). Specifically, they wanted to mimic the part where teams of five drink an inconceivable amount of rich, creamy Warsteiner as fast as possible. From a glass boot that holds two liters of beer. Understandably, I had my doubts that such a plan could be achieved. Kansas City is not Hollywood, nor is it a secret German drinking club.