Matthew Vaughn’s attempt at a spy rom-com in Argylle flatlines despite felines

Argylle. // Courtesy Universal Pictures

Matthew Vaughn started with a lot of promise. 

He first arrived as a producer on Guy Ritchie’s early films, which he then spun into a successful directing debut with 2004’s Layer Cake. Since then he’s directed blockbuster-hopefuls that were well-received (Stardust, Kick-Ass, X-Men) then increasingly less well-received (The Kingsman series). 

Like all those previously-noted films, Argylle is an adaptation, though one with a much weirder and unnecessarily-shrouded background. Or maybe not. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, none of that matters because Vaughn’s film buckles under the weight of its ridiculous meta-fiction ambitions.

Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is the world’s hottest action-romance author and the creator of master spy Argylle (Henry Cavill), his right-hand man Wade (John Cena), and hacker Kira (Ariana DeBose). While the previous four bestselling books were a breeze to write, her latest is proving difficult. After her mother (Catherine O’Hara) chides her for attempting to end it on a cliffhanger, Elly sets about untangling her writer’s block by taking a break.

Elly’s attempt at a getaway to Chicago is cut short when a train full of goons attempts to abduct her. As it turns out, her writing isn’t just good, but has accurately predicted seismic world events. A shadowy agency headed by the evil Ritter (Bryan Cranston) needs Elly to finish her story to lead his organization to a silver bullet that will let them rule the world. Fortunately, Elly is saved by rogue spy Aidan (Sam Rockwell), who hopes to get her to the “real” Agent Argylle (say whaaaat?) in time.

Argylle has echoes of Romancing the Stone—i.e. timid writer taken out of their comfort zone to live the kind of story they’d typically pen. Unfortunately, Vaughn’s attempt to liven things up here was already done (and better) by 2022’s The Lost City, so it’s even less novel (heh) than it might have been. Vaughn’s film compounds things in weird ways, occasionally bringing Elly’s writing or brainstorming to life, before abandoning that approach completely in the second half. 

Jason Fuchs’ script suffers from messy plotting and an inconsistent tone that slams three or four different genres into a single scene, and action scenes which Vaughn drowns out with endless needle drops. It’s an attempt to please everyone in the audience that falls flat on its face. Not helping things is a smooth, over-CGIed veneer that makes big set pieces hard to look at. There’s still occasional fun to be had, but it all feels like a shoddy imitation of a much better movie. 

While Argylle boasts a charming all-star cast, the ace in the hole is Rockwell. Essentially doing a variation of characters he’s played for the last two decades, he dances (figuratively and literally) away with every scene. Howard and Rockwell have a natural chemistry that’s undone any time another prominent actor enters a scene. Cranston’s villain sleepwalks through the film. Samuel L. Jackson spends 75% of his screen time watching a Lakers game.

Argylle. // Courtesy Universal Pictures

Much of the movie’s marketing materials have featured the main “big twist” of the movie—the split between the narrative of Elly’s novel and Elly’s own adventure. In fact, there are a series of twists that drop about every 15 minutes, each more disappointing than the last. Without going into spoilers, those big reveals only expose how derivative the story is.

Vaughn’s kinetic, candy-coated symphonies of violence were their own special breed for a long time, but they’re sadly sanitized in Argylle. The movie feels manufactured, like someone trying to approximate Vaughn’s gleeful pop-violence rather than Vaughn himself doing a poor version of his own work. Here’s hoping it’s a one-off letdown rather than another sign of continued artistic decline.

Argylle. // Courtesy Universal Pictures