Massive Attack
Crowbar might be the world’s heaviest band, at least in terms of epitomizing every definition of the word heavy. The dictionary lists nine subentries, all of which could come with an adjacent illustration of this gargantuan group. Here’s point-by-point proof that these guys are music’s pound-for-pound champs.
1. Having great weight or mass. For these New Orleans natives, every day is Fat Tuesday, and every stage requires reinforcement. When behemoth singer Kirk Windstein bellowed, I gave my heart and soul to you during a video, Beavis and Butthead estimated that 20 pounds of raw meat must have changed hands during that transaction.
2. Hard to bear, specifically grievous. The aforementioned “heart and soul” line comes from the profoundly grim tune “Existence Is Punishment.” Just about every track the band has ever released is rife with doom and gloom, except for its inexplicable cover of “Dream Weaver.”
3. Serious. 4. Deep, profound. The world lost great philosophers and poets when Crowbar decided to go into sludge-metal instead of grad school. The band’s songs address existential issues, spirituality and sacrifice in simple yet striking language, with a few empathetic messages for the self-help crowd. For example: Born again in time/You’re not alone in what you’re feeling, Windstein roars during the obliquely inspirational ” … And Suffer As One.”
5. Burdened. 6. Sluggish. 7. Drowsy. Crowbar often sounds oppressed, as if it were carrying on its shoulders the weight of, well, Crowbar. Its average composition moves like an anvil-filled ship dragging anchor through a concrete lot. A large dose of Crowbar might induce sleepiness and subsequent nightmares (though the aforementioned “Dream Weaver” could spark Tia Carrere fantasies).
8. Loud. Crowbar’s rare speedy songs detonate like dynamite, and its more trademark numbers move with the pendulous force of a wrecking ball. Either way, the walls are coming down.
9. Important. Crowbar released a greatest-hits album in 2000, a rare feat for an underground act with no radio singles. In addition, Pantera’s Phil Anselmo produced Crowbar’s 100,000-selling second album, then joined three of its members (Windstein, bassist Todd Strange and drummer Jimmy Bower) in the doom-laden side project Down. A reliably smart and innovative act, Crowbar demonstrates how a plodding tortoise can surpass the genre’s jack rabbits.
