Listen and Learn

To get your new year off to a flying start, how about getting expert life advice from that most trustworthy source: the ghostwritten bios of your favorite D-list celebrities? Sound good? Sure! But wait, what about that pesky, time-consuming reading part? No worries! Fishtank Performance Studio takes care of that for you with Eat Their Words: Sex, Marriage, and Sometimes Love. A crew of Kansas City’s most selfless and dedicated comedic actors (including Bess Wallerstein, David Wayne Reed, Mark Manning and curator Philip blue owl Hooser) performs excerpts from the oeuvres of such literary lights as Mr. T, Ivana Trump, Clay Aiken and Star Jones. Your life may well be transformed by David Hasselhoff’s acting method, Ivana Trump’s single-parenting tips, porn star Ron Jeremy’s seduction techniques and more. Hear it all between 9 and 10:30 p.m. at the Fishtank (1715 Wyandotte, 816-809-7110). Tickets cost $5–$15 at the door.— Grace Suh

Fri., Jan. 7, 9-10:30 p.m., 2011