Letters from the week of January 29

What people who matter do with The Pitch: They wipe their asses with it.

And no, that is not a metaphor. I mean, literally. I mean, I know more people who wipe their asses with The Pitch than are actual readers. I understand it’s funny. I understand it’s sad. It’s also true.

I haven’t found anything truly enlightening within The Pitch since I first picked one up years ago. When I pick one up today, what common thread do you think I find? Snotty bullshit. Half-assed attempts at shock-jock humor. Still going strong years later. Thank you for being a beacon of painted rust, dear Pitch.

As it stands, the only redeeming feature of The Pitch in its current form, aside from fecal detail, is the fact that companies that can actually turn a profit are willing to buy advertising space in this rag.

My advice? Grow the fuck up.

I don’t know anybody who wants to read stories written from the perspective of a person who quietly catalogs people based on how they dress. Yes, we know, not everybody wears blazers and walks around with a fucking murse on his hip, earbuds dangling.

Here’s a real news flash for The Pitch: If the stories in your magazine are intentionally geared for the people who read them, then there is a reason that the people who matter wipe their asses with your paper.

Eric Orth, Kansas City, Missouri

Studies in Crap: “In the Year 1982,” January 1

I am really enjoying Studies in Crap. It has developed some real depth beyond the snarkiness of the original column. I hope you will continue the ’80s diary as well. It was startling how much has changed in such a short time. The combination of Kansas City history, politics and social history is creative and humorous. I am also glad that Scherstuhl records where the pieces have been discovered; otherwise, some are a little too good to be true.

Stanley Stern, Prairie Village

Alan Scherstuhl’s Studies In Crap article “In the Year 1982” mentioned that he would be addressing the subject in further articles. But in checking the most recent issue, there is nary a mention of Ms. Rockwell or what may have happened to additional articles about her diary entries. You now have some of us curious, so even if someone contacted you and you can’t publish anymore about her, please let us know what is up! The Studies in Crap series is a great piece of journalism!

Name withheld on request

Editor’s note: Your Crap Archivist assures this reader (and others who have written) that a Ms. Rockwell update is in the works.

Feature: “Games People Play,” January 15

As a self-proclaimed professional gamer (’95 Blockbuster Store Champion, Donkey Kong Country SNES), I found the article about Steve Sanders neat. Peter Rugg didn’t portray Billy Mitchell as the douche he is, but that’s OK. The story was compelling enough for me to read the entire thing. Looking back on life, I’ve read the Harry Potters and Peter Rugg’s article from front to back … not much else.

Cody Lovetere, Kansas City, Missouri

Café: “As the Tables Turn,” January 1

Charles Ferruzza’s year-end article was one of the best that I have read for a long time. He put many things into perspective for me. It was also a little depressing because I know several of the people mentioned, who lost quite a bit trying to hold on to their dreams. I do know that, for the most part, they will be able to come back stronger in whatever their new ventures may be.

Mark Webster, executive chef, New Theatre Restaurant, Overland Park

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