Letters
Swing Time
Out and about: I was disappointed in Deb Hipp’s article about swingers at Tootsie’s (“Body Snatchers,” February 22). I fear that Ms. Hipp’s prejudice and use of generalizations will only fuel an environment of mistrust in the club.
Until recently, Tootsie’s was one of the few clubs in Kansas City that played a good mix of dance music. This attracted couples that just wanted to have a good time. Even after the recent opening of several good dance clubs in the area, many swinging couples chose to stay. Why? To quote Ms. Hipp’s article, “Bars like Tootsie’s have always served as a refuge from societal discrimination.” Like the lesbian community, the swinging community doesn’t always find it easy to come out about their lifestyle. We’d like to think that overly judgmental people would avoid Tootsie’s, and we feel safer there.
Contrary to what must be popular belief, most couples at Tootsie’s are not there to pick up on lesbians. Most are there to meet and hang out with each other. This isn’t to say that there aren’t couples trying to pick up single women at Tootsie’s. Although this may come as a horror and a shock to many of the lesbians at Tootsie’s, single bisexual women do frequent the club.
I was offended by the use of terms like “freak” and the statement that our marriages were over before we ever went to Tootsie’s. Many of these relationships are extremely strong, and an incredible amount of trust and communication is needed between two people just to be in this lifestyle.
I was saddened to hear that there are couples who have overstepped their bounds. I would hope that Tootsie’s patrons would recognize those people as exceptions and not allow their actions to poison what should be an atmosphere of positive coexistence.
Jennifer Freeley
Kansas City, Missouri
Three’s company: Deb Hipp’s article about Tootsie’s proves only that lesbians can direct the same kind of narrow-minded bigotry toward others that was long-resented when it was directed at them. Most educated people accept the fact that gays are born that way and have every right to live in a way that seems right to them. There are many orientations that have yet to gain that recognition.
I’m a male and consider myself straight, but most of my wives and girlfriends have been bisexual. I’ve had close relationships with straight women and gay women as well, but the only relationships that ever really seemed right were with bisexual women. I’ve been married to a brilliant beautiful bi woman for twenty years. She and I reared three children in a hostile world. She is my life. I would die for her without question, and she would do the same for me. We like to share sexual adventures. To us, that seems like the only normal way to be. And yes, we were born that way.
We don’t have clubs of our own. So when we want to share a little pussy, we have to go somewhere. We can go check out the little cowgirls at one of those “straight people” clubs. Sometimes they’re not so straight. Or we might like to go to a club where we hope the women are a little more open-minded and easier to talk to. Maybe they’re not all so gay.
So all I have to say to you homophobes, heterophobes and biphobes is: We’re here. We’re not going away, and I think we should treat each other with the same respect and acceptance we want to be treated with.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Kansas City, Missouri
Three’s a crowd: I am a lesbian and have been a regular at Tootsie’s for ten years up until now. I can honestly say that the owners might be lesbians, but they are hypocrites. They don’t care about the lesbian community; they are only after the almighty dollar and should no longer classify themselves as a “lesbian bar.” I go to Tootsie’s to dance and have fun with my friends; I do not go down there in search of a “willing woman” to have sex with, especially if there is a man watching! Some of us have girlfriends and are not looking for a “trick.”
When I told a waitress of a problem I was having involving one particular “swinging couple,” she told me “Sorry, there is nothing I can do. They are a $40 tip for me.” I pay the cover charge every weekend, and when I order a drink I tip well. I even tip if I am just getting water! I am saddened to see the one place that lesbians have to go is turning into a meat market for straight couples and men wanting to fulfill their fantasies. What is even more sad is the fact that a lot of the lesbians will continue to go there because Lord knows that we aren’t welcome in the straight community. If we try to go to Westport, people make fun of us and make rude comments to us. Thank you, Tootsie’s, for making one of your own feel like an outsider.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Kansas City, Missouri
The Blackboard Jungle
Shock treatment: I found Michelle Rubin’s article “Culture Shock” to be most interesting (February 22). I was one of the original teachers hired by School Futures for Scuola Vita and then was told I did not have a job when School Futures was dropped.
Scuola was not the only charter with problems. I then went to work for Benjamin Banneker Charter Academy, which turned out to be a total nightmare. You could not pay me to put my child in a charter school based on what I witnessed during this time. Parents really need to find out the details of what is going on in these schools before they sign their children up. They may appear to be offering a better education, but people need to look more closely. BBCA was chaos in the beginning. I hope things are going much better for them now. Imagine teaching a class in an open classroom environment with sixth, fifth, fourth and third grade going on in one open room with no walls between them, where you can barely hear yourself speak. Imagine as a teacher that you have to buy all your supplies — including going to Kinko’s to make copies — and you don’t have textbooks. Imagine that half your teaching staff walks off in the first three months, and you have classes with no teachers and out-of-control students who have no respect for anyone. Imagine students not getting picked up by their buses in the morning or being dropped off at the wrong place.
Hopefully, things have improved and looked up in the last year. But I still put a word of caution out to all who consider a charter over public education.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Kansas City, Missouri
Teachers’ pests: Regarding Tony Moton’s article about Southwest Charter School (“Unchartered Waters,” February 1): Having spent some time in a charter school in Arizona, I observe many parallels to the new charter schools he wrote about. However, his reporting has to take on many more variables. He interviewed a few unhappy parents. Did he interview all parents and take a percentage?
If we are to find alternatives to the public school dilemma, charter schools have to run their course. A new business of any kind needs a good three to five years or more to make it. A new charter school is starting from the ground up — give it time before declaring it a failure.
Teachers trained through the public school system need the mindset of the school’s vision. Many teachers coming into a charter school expect to come into a mini-public school setting that has 100 years of learning, thus the turnover.
As is often the case, charter schools attract a high percentage of students (and parents) who have been unsuccessful in public schools and are school-hopping. The reason is often a difficult and undisciplined student. Therefore, charter schools have the most critical challenges — undisciplined students and uncooperative parents.
Teachers are often not allowed to discipline effectively for fear of parent retaliation. That was not the atmosphere in the classroom twenty years ago. Lack of discipline at home has created the problems in public schools, and often in charter schools.
If we want change and choices, we must give charter schools a chance. Better reporting, too, would help. Better yet, let’s start disciplining our children, teaching them respect, overseeing their schoolwork and spending more time with them.
G.B. Martinez
Olathe
Separate Vocations
Working for a living: After reading Allie Johnson’s article, “The Factory Life” (February 15), I had to respond. For over sixteen years, I have supported people with disabilities to secure gainful employment in their respective communities. I can tell you that anyone’s quality of life improves when they make a livable wage, contribute to society and interact socially with other members of the community. This is no different for people with disabilities.
The title suggests, “Someone has to do it.” I find this very offensive to the disability community. Remember how our nation condemned Kathie Lee Gifford for having her clothing line produced in sweatshops? Do segregated sheltered workshops that pay workers pennies a day, offer little training and opportunities for advancement, and use taxpayer monies to help support them sound all that different?
Further research on Johnson’s part would suggest there are many benefits for people with disabilities and the communities at large, where they are part of the workforce. For example, they would make at least minimum wage, rent apartments, shop in local stores, etc. Communities would benefit through more qualified applicants, increased tax base (versus tax users) and the burden of supporting buildings that house these workshops and the highly paid executives.
People with disabilities will tell you how much they want to work in decent jobs but haven’t been afforded the opportunity. What if we directed the millions of dollars that support these shops toward community-based employment? How long before this would pay for itself when most people are working and no longer need this type of support? And how would so-called “normal” people feel, making these wages and not being able to choose the way they live their lives? Keep in mind, people with disabilities are the largest minority in the nation, and the only minority group we can join at any time.
Rob Hoffman
Smithville
Take this job and shove it: For the past fifteen years, I have been assisting people with disabilities to achieve greater community presence in the efforts to be viewed as valued members of society. Allie Johnson’s article seemed to give the impression that people with disabilities want to be in segregated “sheltered workshops” and make subminimum wages.
She only interviewed the so-called professionals for their self-centered opinions and not even once talked to a person with a disability. I challenge her to do another article and interview some of the hundreds of people who ARE successful in community employment to get their opinion. I guarantee she will see that those people came from a segregated environment, such as a “sheltered workshop,” and would tell her they would never go back! People with disabilities want to be working, living and having fun just like anyone else, and “society” continues to ignore that by providing outdated services.
Darla Wilkerson
Kansas City, Missouri
Allie Johnson responds: Even a cursory read of “The Factory Life” reveals that interviews with disabled people and their families figured prominently in this portrait of life in sheltered workshops. Some of the people with disabilities quoted in the story said outside employment isn’t for everyone and that sheltered workshops provide a safety net.
Corrections: The animated film Angry Kid was created by Darren Walsh of Aardman Animation (Night & Day, March 1). And in his February 15 column, Greg Hall reported that fans went hungry at the Wizards professional soccer team’s open house; the team, however, provided pizza.
