Lamest. Quarterback. Competition. Ever.

By CHRIS RASMUSSEN

To follow the translucent Chiefs organization, it is necessary to ascribe meaning to small signals, much as a Kremlinologist would analyze the seating charts at a Politburo meeting.

So when Adam Schefter’s article on NFL.com suggests Tyler Thigpen may push Brodie Croyle for playing time (hat tip to the House of Georges blog), I can only offer two explanations of the motivation behind Chiefs president Carl Peterson and coach Herm Edwards:

a) They want to give a message to Croyle that his job is not secure so he will work hard in the off-season

b) They are assuring Croyle will start, as Tyler Thigpen is his only competition

So let’s look at the participants in what shapes up as the lamest Chiefs quarterback battle since Todd Blackledge and Steve Fuller battled for playing time in the mid-80s.

Brodie Croyle starred at the University of Alabama, where he met his wife Kelli. A former Junior Miss winner, Kelli became an Internet sensation after displaying the poise and, um, physical attributes that Croyle frequently lacked in the pocket last year. Brodie landed Kelli with his sophistication, as evidenced bythis quote uttered on HBO’s Hard Knocks documentary last year: “Camp should be a breeze after going through all the marriage stuff. Stressful time for the women folk.”

Croyle was nicknamed “Blu-Ray” last yearby Priest Holmes for his laserlike arm, not for the additional speed he processes information. He looked lost and confused last year as a starter, compiling a 0-6 mark in 2007.

Tyler Thigpen starred at Coastal Carolina, whose mascot is a Chanticleer. A Chanticleer is a rooster that is a prominent character in a section of The Cantebury Tales as well the 1992 animated movie “Rock-A-Doodle” starring Glen Campbell and Charles Nelson Reilly. The chanticleer eludes a fox’s capture in both stories, a relevant story for one protected by the Chiefs’ porous offensive line.

According to Schefter’s article, the performance in which Thigpen impressed Chiefs officials was a drive against the Chargers last season in which he completed two of six passes and ended in an interception in the endzone.

So expectations are low.