Keep Them Coming: Pleasure by Design

Illustration by Shelby Phelps

As a friend daydreamed aloud during our walk, she said, “I would love to have a St. Andrew’s cross, but we can’t have that in our room with the kids around.” She trailed off disappointed, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why not?” I asked without hesitation, since challenging people’s notions is second nature to me. 

“Well, I don’t know exactly,” she said. We discussed options, from changing their room into an adults-only boudoir befitting an episode of How To Build A Sex Room to finding ways to implement bondage without a cross, and even looking online at collapsible crosses until she had enough information to take home to discuss with her partner. 

Sex furniture often came into being as modifications and customizations to existing furniture to assist with making fantasies come true. For instance, King Edward VII’s famous sex chair was kept at the luxurious Parisian brothel Le Chabanais for his use when he was in town. He was known to be an insatiable fellow with many lovers, and this custom chair/lounger/gynecological exam table enabled him to have a standing ménage à trois. 

These days, there’s everything from the subtle to “you’re gonna need a sex room for that.”

Some sex furniture was created for accessibility and comfort. We all age, and some of us have disabilities. Guess what? If you are a sexual person, you should be having and enjoying sex until the day you die—Even if you’re old, infirm, or disabled. 

There are acts and positions that can be challenging if you have a bad knee or are missing a limb. Remember that before you judge some sex furniture as frivolous or unnecessary. If comfort, ease, and stability help you have better sex, get whatever you need to make that happen.

Perhaps you’re a parent, a kink novice, or in this economy, a budget-conscious person who doesn’t want to sell your houseplant collection to fit or afford some sex furniture—Start with multi-purpose furniture and accessories. These items can blend discreetly into existing decor. Prices can start from $50-$300 for basics like wedges, chairs, and swings. 

Pillows and wedges come in foam or inflatable versions. Some pillows are designed to allow for hands-free use of sex toys. Most of these can be used to also sit up in bed to read a book, elevate your feet, or relax on the floor. If not, they take up very little room in a closet or under a bed. Can confirm—A two-piece wedge set fits in an IKEA under-bed drawer.

Some pieces convert, fold, or stow away, making discretion and storage no problem. More often than not, sex benches have sleek designs and are marketed as yoga benches. For the space-savers, there are also inflatable versions of this design. 

A bounce stool—like the Whipsmart Bounce Squatter Stool—has handles and cushioned seating to allow the top partner to ride and explore positions they never thought their legs had the strength to handle. Plus, this model is rated for up to 400lbs—When I say everyone deserves great sex, I mean it. But this item looks like nothing much more than a stool if it was sitting in the corner or hiding in the closet. 

Bondage doesn’t have to be on a St. Andrew’s cross. Using under-bed restraints, over-the-door sex slings, or spreader bar sets for the feet and wrists offers the ability to restrain a partner without large, very obvious pieces of gear. A workaround for a spanking bench is a workout bench that may be gathering dust in your garage or basement. 

Mid-range furniture is $500-$1,500 for benches and crosses. A sturdy cross has multiple restraint points and feels stable when leaned upon. Chairs, chaises, and benches designed specifically for sex or BDSM have safety built in mind. You get what you pay for, and, at this price, you are paying for something that is not going to break or collapse in the middle of playtime.

For instance, a sex chaise or yoga bench is very low to the ground or on the ground. They are designed to be well balanced to not topple over, but if it has feet, it may move during pounding depending on the floor surface. Take measures to secure your furniture in place, if necessary.

Items in this price range often look like regular, but bulky, pieces of leather furniture. Others are super obvious like the Steed Spanking Bench. Many of these require not only the space for the furniture, but the activities you will do to the person, such as spanking, flogging, or whipping. Plan on having enough space for all the above. Are we getting into custom sex room territory yet? 

The materials make a clear difference in the investment. Take, for example, the Liberator chaises or Tantra Chair—The Liberator brand makes a wide array of sex furniture and accessories, and their chairs and chaise lounges have become so ubiquitous that even Brookstone sells them in the $500 range. Tantra Chair is a brand that offers custom leather colors to match your decor—two loungers, same basic design, fluid-resistant cloth vs leather, and a $1,000 price difference.  

Speaking of fluids, you may not consider this a piece of furniture, but the Liberator Fascinator throw is the must-have item to prevent late-night sheet changes. This velvety soft, completely waterproof blanket is durable, comfortable, and does not sound like you’re rolling around on plastic—No judgment if you’re into that kind of thing. Five years later, mine still looks brand new—a fabulous $150 investment!

High-end luxury or custom sex furniture can be upwards of $2,000, including bondage or dungeon bed frames, cages, and custom or locally built hardwood or steel furniture. The most expensive, top-of-the-line items are amazing, well-built, and often have a return policy of up to 60 days if from a manufacturer. 

You do not have to buy the priciest item to get quality and durability this holiday season, but, the cheapest items are hardly ever worth the purchase. No sense in sending your gift to yourself or your partner to the trash after one or two uses. Read the ratings, buy from a reputable site or brand, and enjoy your sex furniture for years to come. 

You can find Kristen @OpenTheDoorsKC on Twitter or openthedoorscoaching.com. Check out her podcast Keep Them Coming.

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