KC Voices: Red states, trans kids, and the Supreme Court’s loaded gun

Photo by Jim Nimmo

In the KC Voices column, we ask members of the KC community to submit stories about their thoughts and experiences in all walks of life. If you’ve got a story you’d like to share with our readers, please send it to brock@thepitchkc.com for consideration. Today, lifelong KCMO resident and mother (of two trans kids) reflects on the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding bans on gender-affirming care.

Illustration by Jack Raybuck

KC Voices local submissions

The Supreme Court just handed red states a loaded gun and told them precisely where to point it: Parents who love and support their trans children.

Please understand, this isn’t just more of what they have always done to us queer folk. This is the highest court of the United States on record, agreeing that supporting your child’s gender transition is so harmful, it should be illegal. Meanwhile, the same court thinks AR-15s are a perfectly reasonable choice for a toddler’s birthday gift.

This was never just about medical care. It’s about control. It’s about using the highest legal authority in the country to punish parents for parenting differently. For listening to their children. For daring to trust their instincts instead of tradition.

And yes, I mean punishment literally. Because if gender-affirming care is a danger to children, then what does that make a parent who allows it? In the eyes of many courts, that makes us abusers. And now, thanks to this ruling, that argument can stand in court.

I don’t just live in a red state. I live in a red county, in a red small town, nestled gently in a decorative Mason jar of red-state values—like a Pinterest craft nobody asked for. Missouri doesn’t just have a ban on gender-affirming care. Missouri has people who celebrate that ban. People who now feel even more empowered to report parents like me to CPS.

I knew from the time my middle child, Spencer, was three years old that they had been born with the wrong parts (a birth defect, pure and simple). But I said nothing and let her figure it out on her own, which she did at 14. Now, at 17, she’s ready for gender-affirming hormone treatment—but thanks to this ruling, that isn’t an option in Missouri.

And here’s the part that most people seem to miss: if my child had been born with an extra finger that caused her distress, no one would question her right to have it removed. In fact, not a single person would legally be allowed to stop her.

Imagine making it illegal for someone to have an extra finger surgically removed because “God put it there for a reason.” And yet, here we are, apparently debating whether basic bodily autonomy is a liberal conspiracy.

This was never just about rare to non-existent surgical procedures or even about medical care (in fact, it makes certain types of medical care literally illegal). It’s about control—about deciding who gets to define “good parenting” and who should be punished for failing to force your family into a box they defined.

I’m not here to win hearts and minds with data. That’s been done. Over and over. The safety and efficacy of gender-affirming care for youth is backed by every major medical organization. What we’re up against isn’t a misunderstanding of facts—it’s the weaponization of fear.

Families like mine aren’t just unsupported anymore—we’re essentially being told, “We’d prefer it if you could kindly stop existing in public, please and thank you. Oh, and remember to smile as you remove yourself from our world, you look prettier that way.”

The ruling doesn’t stop at the clinic door. It echoes into courtrooms, into custody battles, into school policies and CPS case files. The Supreme Court has declared open season on affirming parents.

Letting your kid wear the clothes that make them feel safe can now be used against you in a courtroom. That’s not paranoia. That’s precedent.

This ruling matters differently to parents. I’ve found that even within the LGBTQIA+ community, some adults who don’t have children can afford a more philosophical response. They grieve, they organize, they march—and all of that is needed. But for those of us raising trans kids in red states, this isn’t just about injustice. It’s about imminent danger.

We don’t get the luxury of riding it out.

I’m politically active. I’ve served as an election judge in my county for years. I’ve tried to do everything the right way. But it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. The rules have changed.

I don’t know what kind of future this ruling was meant to shape, but I know what kind of present it’s creating. It’s one where loving your child can get you reported. Where supporting your kid makes you suspect. Where people like me have to make impossible choices to keep our families safe.

So what now?

Support the families being forced to flee. We’re not making dramatic exits—we’re seeking refuge. There are GoFundMe drives for families doing everything we can to get out while we still can. Read their stories, listen to their concerns. Tell others about the stories you read about.

Speak up. Vote. Challenge these laws in every way possible. But also—hold space for those of us whose fight just got personal. Who are watching the courts line up against us and realizing we don’t have time to wait for the next election cycle.

And above all: don’t look away. And please, please do NOT act like we are overreacting or catastrophizing. Instead, listen to us and help us amplify the realities we are seeing and living.

Because we’re still here. Still loving our kids. Still refusing to let anyone tell them they’re wrong for knowing who they are. Still choosing to be the kind of parent who chooses to risk getting reported over the kind who disappears.