Kansas is totally not psyched to house Guantanamo Bay detainees

State and local officials are pissing themselves at the thought of Fort Leavenworth making the short list of new homes for detainees.

U.S. Sen. Sam Brownback and U.S. Rep. Lynn Jenkins fist-bump-activated their Wonder Twin powers at a news conference earlier today. Jenkins transformed into an eagle and Brownback took the shape of water to douse the idea of moving detainees to Kansas.

Then Kansas Gov. Mark Parkinson said, “Bring ’em on, bitches,” while touting Fort Leavenworth as the most impenetrable prison on the face of the earth and the soldiers as the most elite fighting force since that one in the movie that comes out Friday.

Except that Parkinson was in an alternate universe. The real Parkinson fell in line with the “not in my backyard” and “xenophobic fear of foreign prisoners” crowd (except he said it wasn’t about that, so you know it totally isn’t about that but rather “safety, security, legality and logistics”). Parkinson also said no to construction dollars that would come with a move, so he’s got that going for him, too.