The Kansas City Royals and Sporting KC offer new stadium eats, but what should you order?

For the first time in more than a generation, Kansas City has two championship-caliber pro sports teams — the Royals, of course, who won a little thing called the World Series last fall, and Sporting, who took home Major League Soccer’s MLS Cup in 2013. Both teams recently kicked off their 2016 seasons — on the field and in the concession stands. To be the best, you’ve got to eat the best, so I set out to compare a few of each stadium’s new culinary offerings. Whose eats are kicking more ass? Let’s find out.
Round 1: Junk Food
Royals: Champions Alley Dog ($15, available in Section 206)
A footlong hot dog wrapped in bacon, tempura fried, topped with sweet slaw, and served on a pretzel bun, the Champions Alley Dog frankly sounds like someone at Aramark got pretty stoned.
On opening night, the staff in Section 206 seemed to have vastly underestimated demand for this thing. Ditto the $19 Champions Burger, a cheese-stuffed, tempura-battered behemoth. After a 20-minute wait, I was handed my deep-fried dog, which bloomed with crispy petals of fried dough beneath a smattering of purple cabbage. The meat itself was thick and fresh — y’know, for a hot dog — and the slaw added a surprising burst of flavor. But the bacon was thin and nearly undetectable, and the tempura batter, combined with the thick pretzel bun, proved to be too much dough. A regular hot dog is cheaper and quicker.
Sporting: Chicken Waffle Sandwich ($10, available at the Tap, in Section 117)
Few things go together as well as chicken and waffles, especially when the ingredients are as hot and fresh as those in this sandwich. Two soft, sweet waffles surround a generous portion of fried chicken, which is topped with maple-pecan mayonnaise, pepper-jack cheese, and applewood-smoked bacon. If “disposable income” were a fact that applied to me rather than a vague concept, I might go to Children’s Mercy Park just to eat this sandwich.
Winner: Chicken Waffle Sandwich
Round 2: Healthy Food
Royals: Custom Salad ($8, available at Market Place, in Section 203)
Among Kauffman Stadium’s new offerings are some relatively not-cardiac-unfriendly items, such as whole fruit, pretzels with hummus, and even a kale salad, the latter of which is available at Craft & Draft on the loge level. On opening day, Craft & Draft was sloshing with booze-soaked revelry before the game had even started, so I ventured down to the Market Place, where options include veggie burgers and dogs, as well as gluten-free brownies. I ordered a custom salad, which in this case consisted of spring mix and a mound of fresh veggies for a reasonable $8. As a bonus, everyone else was still waiting on their Champions Dogs, so there was basically no line.
Sporting: Tofu, Veggie & Rice Bowl ($11, available at Wok This Way, in Section 120)
Fruit and hummus have also found their way into Children’s Mercy Park, but at the game I attended, Fresh Market, the stadium’s supposed purveyor of healthy snacks, was mostly stocked with cupcakes and Rice Krispie treats, alongside a few sad-looking fruit cups filled with anemic cantaloupe and honeydew. My second-choice venue was the cleverly named Wok This Way, where I ordered an $11 tofu-veggie-and-rice bowl that was prepared on a grill right in front of me.
Winner: Draw
Round 3: Dessert
Royals: Chocolate-Covered Berry Kebabs ($7, available in multiple locations)
The moment I saw a vendor marching up the stairs carrying a tray of white- and dark-chocolate drizzled kebabs, as though looking for a wedding reception, I yelled, “Holy shit!” and threw money at him. Featuring two varieties — one containing bite-size brownies tucked between strawberries, the other cheesecake — these fancy dessert items are a far cry from the Cracker Jack and Frosty Malts of my youth. Will one of them hold up on a 95-degree day in July? We’ll see.
Sporting: Dessert Platter ($5, available at the Wine & Cheese Cart in Section 122)
The blandly named dessert platter centers on a single chocolate-covered strawberry, two miniature brownies and three tiny cake balls, which the vendor could not fully identify. “I don’t know what those are,” he said when I asked him. “You try ’em and let us know, OK?”
Winner: Chocolate-Covered Berry Kebabs