Kansas City is America’s 20th ‘manliest city’

• Karate By Jesse
• We’d lose to Milwaukee in an arm-wrestling match, folks.

Kansas City would lose to Oklahoma City in a one-arm push-up contest. It would be on the floor if it attempted to go drink-for-drink with Columbia, South Carolina. And it would never take its shirt off at the beach if Memphis, Tennessee, was there with its bear rug for chest hair.

The other metropolitan areas are the top three manliest cities in the United States, according to Mars Chocolate America’s fourth annual COMBOS “America’s Manliest Cities,” survey. The study, designed to help you think about pepperoni pizza in a tubular pretzel shell, had Kansas City slipping five spots this year from 15th to 20th (wedged between Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and Jacksonville, Florida).