Journey’s Tide

There’s nobody more concerned with illegals mucking up the white-breadness of Kansas than state Sen. Phil Journey. Recently, the Republican from Haysville warned his colleagues that “80,000 illegal criminal aliens, including convicted murderers, rapists, drug dealers and child molesters” roam American streets. “I submit that the crest of this wave of crime by illegal aliens is coming at Kansas.”

Journey, who says he’s anti-illegal in part because a friend was murdered by one, spoke recently to the Department of Burnt Ends about this alien tide.

Burnt Ends: Your 3-year-old daughter’s identity was stolen?

Journey: She’s 20, but it was stolen when she was 3. I guess she owns a house in Virginia and didn’t even know it. She’s trying to straighten it out now, and it’s just a nightmare. She doesn’t know what to do. She’s on the KU dance team. She’s at KU now, living her dream. She can’t get a checking account. She told me, “I’ve got a really high credit score!” She’s been asking me to fix this for her. I’m like, “You do it. You’re an adult.” You know? Like I don’t have enough to do.

So you don’t want illegal immigrants on probation?

The issue is that every probation has the condition that you reside in the jurisdiction and not violate the law. And it’s impossible for them to reside here and not violate federal law. So just do your time and go home. You know, I mean, I understand that the vast majority are here for a better life for their family and the only laws they break are identity theft and illegal entry. But there’s a very small minority that are ultraviolent.

Your friend was murdered?

We had a personal friend who was from Cuba, and he was murdered in Wichita. Came out of a bar and got stabbed by a sociopath. The only suspect they had was this illegal Mexican who ran away, and they’ve never caught him. So it’s, quote, unsolved.

Your wife has an interesting first name.

Yes! Suyapa. I met her when I was doing work in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. That’s where I fell in love, back in the ’80s. There are these American doctors I knew down there, and they have this children’s shelter. They had a bus they were trying to convert to diesel. I was trying to fix it for them, and she was the only one in the auto-parts store who could speak English. All I knew was “¿Donde está la cerveza?” and “¿Donde es el baño?” She just translated it right through.