John Mayer’s Cruise Ship Sets Sail

By FLANNERY CASHILL

Nevermind the recession, jump onboard Mayercraft, John Mayer‘s “rock cruise.” Tickets go on sale today for the second annual voyage of Mayercraft, which sails from Los Angeles, CA to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and includes confirmed performers Guster.

I had some questions, but luckily they were frequently asked questions. YES, John Mayer will be onboard the whole time. YES, there will be four pools. YES, there will be 22 theme bars. YES, these will be the best four days and nights of my life. NO, John Mayer does not have a debilitating addiction to porn, that’s just a rumor.

For anywhere from a mere $950 to an astronomical $4,150, you can join John Mayer as he unzips his tight jeans and wags his dick at the rest of the world. Act now; the United States implodes in about ten minutes.