Jezebel, we’re sorry Kansas City’s chihuahua parade didn’t live up to your standards of sperm donations and kitten hiccups

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• Just give the dogs a well-deserved rest.

A costumed chihuahua parade on Cinco de Mayo is ridiculous – you’ll get no argument here on that point. It is also harmless and requires a bit of stripping away the detached shell of angry sarcasm that blights the Internet. It was a dog parade, people.

And so, waking up this morning to read Jezebel’s headline “Kansas City Fails Miserably at the World Record for Dog Paraders,” a little part of my heart broke. Can’t we just have something silly without drooling all over ourselves to take a shot at it?