Jeff Hiller’s acting detour through Kansas led to the creation of his memoir, Actress of a Certain Age

Photo by Sandy Morris

Bless his heart, actor Jeff Hiller has played every clichéd small, gay role in the Hollywood handbook—waiter, therapist, sassy best friend, maître d’. Once, in 2005, his IMDB credit was literally just “Gay Man.”

But here’s the twist: Hiller played them all with such goofy charm and sincerity, he made you care. And then, in a co-starring role that was finally as layered as he is, Hiller found his groove as Joel in three seasons of HBO’s Somebody Somewhere. 

As Bridget Everett’s bestie, Hiller played an awkwardly earnest Kansan with so much heart, you can’t help but root for him.

So, when The Pitch got the chance to chat with Hiller, we knew we were in for something special. We goofed about his recent trip to Kansas—yes, real Kansas, not the filmed-in-Illinois version—and how he was still buzzing from the experience.

Naturally, there were a few tangents about Namibia, stand-up, and the magic of Midwestern hospitality before we chatted about his new memoir, Actress of a Certain Age. The book is a sharply funny, deeply honest reflection on growing up queer, finding his voice, and why the journey to self-acceptance is rarely a straight line.

We discussed his intersection of comedy and vulnerability, the real-life inspiration behind some of his most iconic scenes, and what it would be like to suddenly be recognized in Namibian airport security.

Photo by Sandy Morris

The Pitch: I am halfway through your audiobook, young man. What is the weirdest thing about recording your own words in your own voice? 

Jeff Hiller: It wasn’t that weird, actually. Here’s the weird thing: They said, ‘Give it five days.’ I finished in two. They said a lot of people make a lot of mistakes. Five, they said, was padded, but two was quick. A lot of this book is based on my former stand-up material. So, I was able to do it in the voices that I would use when I was doing stand-up, so that was helpful.

Look at you, model of efficiency! I died at the title of your book, Actress of a Certain Age. Please tell me that you came up with that title.

Yeah, that was my Instagram biography for a long time. I mean, what description is needed? That’s who I am. It really fit because I was writing about all of these celebrity memoirs, and most of the ones that I read are by actresses of a certain age. So, it kind of made sense.

Tell me, what is your favorite garbage-iest memoir? I think mine is Coreyography by Corey Feldman. Although Tori Spelling is up there, too. 

Oooh, Tori Spelling has some good ones. She has more than one. Yeah, I like Tori Spelling.  Well, there’s this Ivanka Trump one that’s pretty bad. There’s a Vanna White one that’s pretty cheeseball. What I will say, Tommy Tune has one that has lots of parts in it where you’re like, ‘What are you talking about?’ But also, you love him and you fall in love with him. Yes, I really like Tommy Tune’s, too.

Fair. Do you have a favorite chapter in the book? Because if so, I’m going to need to listen to it twice, maybe three times.

Photo Courtesy of Jeff Hiller

I don’t know if I have a favorite chapter. To be honest, after I wrote it, I was like, ‘I’m so sick of talking about myself. Who cares?’ Probably not a good thing to say in the press, though I do like my three asshole stories. I think they’re funny.

350% agree. I was snooping through your IMDb page, and it’s just so random. Do you ever see a show and forget you were on it?

Every once in a while, I’ll forget. Or I won’t remember exactly what happened on it. And people will quote it or something, and I’m like, ‘Did I say that?’ But listen, they were such wins every single time, I kind of remember them. Sometimes, people put things on IMDb that I’m like, ‘Oh, that was a web video, but you’re making it seem like it was a TV show.’ That stuff I kinda forget.

I loved your character in Somebody, Somewhere because you were the heart, the soul, the moral compass of the show. But did you find that you evolved over those three seasons along with your character?

Absolutely. I think I’m someone who is always trying to grow. The show was a teacher. Getting the show was a big lesson on not giving up on myself. Bridget is such a great teacher of that philosophy.

But also, in season three, when he’s crying all the time, what it was really saying is ‘I like my life, my life is good, but I also am mourning the life that I thought I would have.’ And I think that’s healthy and normal, and I learned from that. I learned what the writers were saying in the end, and from what Joel was saying. I mean, the writers wrote it. I’m not so crazy that I think Joel is really a person.

Sunshine, Joel is a person, okay? I’m gonna put you on the spot because I want to know, do you have a favorite line or one-liner from the show? Mine is when you are in the drainage ditch and you spy a varmint and you say, ‘I can’t afford to get rabies again.’ I spit my LaCroix across the room.

Well, my favorite really funny bit was when—in season one—we walk into Tender Moments, the store that Trisha owns. And I’m picking up a basket and Sam says, ‘God, who buys this shit?’ And you just see me immediately put the basket down again. I just really like that moment. I do.

You have a long chapter on your time in Namibia. Do you ultimately hope that Visit Namibia comes calling? You could be their new spokesperson or… 

I would love to go back. I would love to go spend some more time in South Africa. It’s one of those things where it’s really hard to get there, so you kind of have to really set aside some time. But I’d love to go back. I’d love to find my host family again and try and reconnect with them. We’ll see.

Wouldn’t it be crazy to be recognized in Namibia? It could happen.

Photo Courtesy of Jeff Hiller

Ha! I don’t know if Somebody, Somewhere is a big Namibian television show. When I was there, they watched Baywatch and soap operas from Kenya.

We’ve talked before, and I just remember you were super quick, super clever, and you gave me a run for my money. Are you quicker after being in the Somebody, Somewhere ensemble?  

Sure. Quippier and quicker! What I will say is I think I got more authentic. I think before I was actually pretty quippy and really quick, but that show really taught us to be truthful and real. I think that was the main thing I learned from that… but I’m still pretty quick.

What was the genesis of the book? How did the wheels start turning? 

I had wanted to turn my stand-up—I had three solo shows—and I wanted to turn them into a special, maybe. And nobody wanted that. But then somebody came to me and said, ‘Would you ever want to write a book?’ And I was like, ‘Well, I read a lot of memoirs, and I think I know how to write one because I know what’s interesting and what’s boring. My book agent came to me and said, ‘I think you have a book.’

And I was like, ‘I think I do, too!’ And I knew I would just use my stand-up material for that. It took me about a year. My husband was like, ‘This is not hard for you at all.’ And it’s kind of true. I mean, if I had to write another one, it would be—but I had all this material already written. It just kind of flowed out of me because I really just wanted to get it on the page.

Also, I’d done it in front of lots of crowds, so I knew this joke or that joke worked. So that was helpful. The hardest part? It’s been asking all the famous people to let me give them a copy so they’ll take a picture of it for their Instagram. That’s the most humiliating and hard part—asking my famous friends to be like, ‘Buy my friend’s book!’

Finally, you know you’re talking to a boy who literally lives in Kansas. So, do you now feel a kinship to my state? To our state?

Yes! I had been there before the show, but I hadn’t been there since the show happened. I flew into Kansas City, so I saw that pretty, pretty airport. And we drove to Manhattan, and I was driving with Murray Hill. And Murray saw a sign for Wichita, and he went, ‘Wee-cheetah. Wee-cheetah.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, Good Lord. Do you think it’s called Wee-cheetah, Kansas??!

But we spent several days in Manhattan, and it was amazing. I got nothing bad to say about Kansas.

I hope you ate a lot of donuts like you did in the show. Very Matrix-like.

Yes, it was. Like, it was a donut eating itself. I did eat a ton of donuts. We went to The Chef every single morning. I ate at Varsity. Yeah, I ate my face off. Oooh, and they had a beer with our picture on it at the Manhattan Brewing Company. It was so cool.

What?! What was the name of it? 

Somebeer, Someplace.

Interview gently edited for content and clarity. 

Actress of a Certain Age is now available on Amazon or at your local bookstores or retailers.