Jason Whitlock doesn’t believe in love, only ‘strange tang’

Somebody must have hurt Jason Whitlock real, real bad. Our favorite “patient and attentive gardener” pens another sad Fox Sports column, this time wondering why pro athletes get married.

Because they can love, Jason.

The human experiment in mass and density must be having a hard time finding “a blossoming May flower” to “fertilize into a special, 28-year-old bouquet.” So he’s down on marriage and acting like Richard Jefferson left him at the altar.

Marriage and pro athletes just don’t mix, the butterball of bitterness writes, and he’s here to let us know the secrets a sports writer who hangs around naked dudes in a locker room knows. For example, “strange tang.”

Strange Tang is the No. 1 topic of conversation inside a locker room.

It’s not steroids, the playbook or the next opponent. It’s gossip about

strip clubs, girls met in soon-to-be-visited cities on Facebook and

Myspace and getting drunk.

You don’t say.