Jamie ‘n’ Juice

In our quixotic quest to make Waldo the new Westport, we recently checked out Lew’s Grill & Bar at 75th Street and Wornall Road. We’d heard about it back in May, thanks to a tip from stellar reader Jacki Schmittou, who touted Lew’s martini list and a “mixed atmosphere with UMKC kids and local (single) professionals.” So we recruited one über-single professional to be our special guest Research Assistant: Jamie Metzl, Democratic candidate for Missouri’s 5th Congressional District.

Why Metzl? Well, we think this Young Turk’s run against staid local icon Emanuel Cleaver has been one of the more interesting races in a while. Plus, he’s a regular at Lew’s, which is close to his campaign headquarters. But really, given his crazy-ass accomplishments by age 35 — bachelor’s degree from Brown, law degree from Harvard, Ph.D. from Oxford, White House fellow, fiction writer, marathon runner — we just wanted to find out if he’s a robot.

The best way to discern his androidness? Ply him with alcohol and try to have our way with him.

We headed over on a Wednesday for $4 martini night and squeezed into a booth with RA Jamie, his younger brother, Josh, and his posse of campaign workers. We ordered the cherry limeade martini. Made with Bacardi Limon, sweet and sour, grenadine and Sprite, it wasn’t too syrupy or tart. And as a lovely treat, the rim of the glass had been dipped in sugar. Sadly, though, our plan to soak Jamie with martinis was foiled when he stuck with cranberry juice. Perhaps he had a bladder infection, we thought. Or maybe the alcohol would short-circuit his wiring. When we didn’t see him running to the restroom, we reasoned it was the latter.

“How’s the cranberry juice?” we asked.

“Tastes like cranberry juice,” he said with a grin. “I knew I’d be called on that,” he said, turning to his friends.

Lew’s was a good place to meet up, though the music was somewhat loud and it was hard to hear Jamie — who is by no means a low talker. The 6-month-old place has kind of a generic sports-bar feel to it, though the crowd is diverse and personable, and instead of the random athletic crap on the walls, there are pictures and original Lee Judge cartoons of Bob Lewellen, KC councilman from 1982 to ’90 and current Parks Board commissioner. “Everything we have in here is unique,” said Chris Lewellen, co-owner and son of Bob.

“It’s a local place where we have lunch and meet people,” Jamie said. “It’s a nice, neighborhood kind of place.” We asked him what sort of bars he liked. “I like comfortable places where I can relax and talk to people,” he said, though he added that he wasn’t much of a drinker. Just then, a familiar haunting refrain emanated from the jukebox. “Generational test!” Jamie said. “What is this?” We named that tune — the Dallas theme song — in just a few notes. “Yeah, Josh didn’t know it,” Jamie said.

“So what would be your victory drink of choice?” we asked. He hemmed for a bit before coming up with the Chocolate Skyscraper from Winstead’s.

“I sound really square,” he acknowledged.

He became less square when we wandered around and talked to our fellow patrons. We ran into Greg, 26, and his girlfriend, Lindsay, 25, and found out how they met. “I was working the door at a bar in Lawrence, and she was our most frequent customer,” Greg said. “Lindsay couldn’t keep out of there when she met me.”

“You’re a liar!” Lindsay said, laughing.

“So, it is possible to meet someone in a bar?” the NR asked, skeptical.

“Apparently it is if you’re a bouncer,” Jamie said.

We had to get in a couple more smartass questions before we left. “Why are you single?” we asked, feeling really cheesy because that’s the question we hate being asked ourselves.

“I don’t have a good answer for that,” Jamie said good-naturedly. “You’ll have to ask my mother. She asks me that all the time.”

“Um,” we continued, feeling even dorkier, “are you a robot?” We gently poked his shoulder, which felt like human flesh, though quite solid.

He laughed and began his spiel, “I really care about the issues of human rights and social justice …”

Android or not, he was cool to hang out with. Next time, the cranberry juice is on us.