Hot Ozark love advice: dump your true love, avoid ‘buck fever,’ make a date of assembling a first aid kit

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

Get the Perfect Date, Perhaps a Lifetime Mate!

Author: Bob Hinds

Date: 1999

Discovered at: Found by Junior Crap Archivist Renee at an Ozarks truckstop

Representative Quote: “A good opening line is ‘How did you like that math test Friday?’ or ‘You were sure surpassing all the rest at the track field Thursday’ or ‘You were certainly doing a grand job of entertaining everyone at the restaurant last night.'”