Heated Stroking

ONGOING

People who don’t play golf avoid it for a reason, and that reason is usually that golf is just a lame country-club sport for the rich. Also, golfers wear some jacked-up gear.But if it’s cool enough for Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper and Glen Campbell, then there’s gotta be something more to it than smacking a dimpled ball. Does the perfect swing lead to inner peace? Or is there a special Narcotics Anonymous group for rock stars that convenes only on golf courses? We may never know. Most golf courses are closed for the season, but AllGolf (at 10350 West 135th Street in Overland Park) has an 80-station driving range that’s open year-round. Sure, it’s getting wicked cold out, but swingers can still get their stroke on in one of twenty heated and covered stalls. Balls start at $4.50 for 42. AllGolf opens at 9 a.m. and stays open until between 6 and 8 p.m. For details, call 913-681-8887.— Michael Vennard

Duck Duck Jayhawk

KU takes on Oregon.

SAT 12/13

Dude, college rules. Even if you flunk out — or get drafted to the NBA as a first-round pick — it’s still the perfect place to experiment with hair. Just look at Luke Ridnour and his curly mop. After three years of playing guard for the University of Oregon’s basketball team, Ridnour now takes his hippy hair helmet to the corn-row-and-crew-cut world of the NBA.Ridnour left the Oregon Ducks behind, but his influence is still felt on the basketball squad from Eugene, Oregon. We’re not going to cheer for the Ducks when they play the University of Kansas Jayhawks at Kemper Arena (1800 Genessee). It’s refreshing to see college athletes who actually resemble real-life stoner college kids. The Feist Shootout starts at 1 p.m. For tickets ($25-$30), call 816-931-3330.— Vennard

Afternoon Express

SUN 12/14

The scene: a Comets game, 1983, Kemper Arena. Everyone’s waving light-up fiberglass wands in the air. The lights go down, and that pounding Comets music — the song is called “Midnight Express,” by the way, and it now plays before Art Bell’s Coast to Coast radio show — accompanies a laser show. This is the most exciting thing that you, age six, have ever experienced. Years later, you wonder what this new Comets team has to offer. It may seem too obvious, but going back to Kemper (1800 Genessee) is probably the best way — if not the only way — to find out. At 4:05 p.m. Sunday, the Kansas City Comets play the Milwaukee Wave. For tickets, call 816-931-3330.— Gina Kaufmann