He may not be dead, but He is in your kill file: Studies in Crap presents E-Mail From God For Teens
Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
E-Mail From God For Teens
Author: Claire & Curt Cloninger
Publisher: River Oak Publishing
Date: 1999
Discovered at: Goodwill, Olathe
The Cover Promises: Can God craft a spam filter so powerful even He can’t get through it?
Representative Quote:
From an e-mail titled “I’m Fun”:
“If you spend time with Me, you’ll find out that what you really want is a relationship with Me. I made you to need Me, and until you need Me, you won’t really be happy.
Get to know me and I’ll satisfy your desires. (I may even throw in a boat, too! You never can tell.)
The Joy-Giver,
God”
As Claire and Curt Cloninger have it, in 1999, after millenia of silence, the Creator of All Things at last revealed himself, this time not through prophets or angels but, presumably, AOL. In this shocking collection, the Cloningers compile over 200 messages straight from the Outbox of Outboxes. They claim “It’s an opportunity to log onto God’s heart and mind.”
The (new) good news? God likes you.
A lot.
Like, maybe the way that creepy student teacher liked you in junior high.
