He Gets Good Head

He gets good head: What’s seven and a half inches of smooth, hard plastic with a jiggling head? The new Jason Whitlock bobblehead doll, of course. What did you think we were talking about, you perv?

In honor of the behemoth Star sports columnist’s quest to run/not run the Humana River Crown Plaza Marathon on November 2, Whitlock’s employer is selling a bobblehead in his likeness to benefit the Community Blood Center.

However, we remain skeptical of how accurately petite Jason is depicted. The doll’s body is downright svelte. Unlike the round blob that appears atop his column, the bobblehead’s face is handsomely chiseled. Plastic rolls of fat on the back of its head are a nice touch, though, as is the clichéd ear stud. And despite the doll’s illusory proportions, when we compared Jasonita to the other bobble-rific giveaways of the summer — Tony Meola of the Wizards and Carlos Beltran of the Royals — his head was still the biggest and his body indeed the heaviest.

To reproduce one of its most widely known columnists (though we would have preferred a Steve Kraske — grrowwrrr!), the Star turned to Alexander Global Promotions, a Bellevue, Washington-based company that prides itself on the quality of its work and the details on its heads.

According to the company’s quality-control manager, Chris Wheeland, the Star sent them some “nice publicity shots” of Whitlock to use in creating the toy. “We got some big shots from the paper, I think. Some full-body shots — at least from the waist up.”

Mini-Jason is doing quite well at the Star store, said the staffer who rang up our purchase. “People are like, ‘I hate him … but I’ll take it. I’ll just throw it across the room.'”

Sadly, no word from big Jason as to whether little Jason bobbles to the left or right.