Gobot cosplay & those sad homemade Cabbage Patch Kids : Studies in Crap on the ’80s most disappointing toys

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

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Doll Baby Pattern Book

Author: Martha Nelson Thomas with Marla Strecker

Date: 1984

Publisher: Fibre-Craft Materials, Niles, IL

Discovered at: Turnstyles Thrift Store, Overland Park

The Cover Promises: Your family is poor.

Children worldwide cherish the Cabbage Patch Kids, those lovable dolls made of goodness and dimples and harvested from magical loam by Xavier Roberts. Throughout the early years of the Reagan era, the most fortunate children awoke on birthdays and holidays to discover Cabbage Patch Kids of their very own, not just to own but to adopt and love and, in the case of my Kansas relatives, to re-christen the black ones “Rudy” because of The Cosby Show.