“Carl Peterson either lied to us or is incredibly mistaken or uninformed when he told us that Chiefs season tickets are among the cheapest in the league. That is totally false.”
— Kevin Kietzman, after the Chiefs raised season-ticket prices yet again following their 8-8 season, WHB 810
“Right now, I’m on schedule to play. I really feel positive about it.”
— Priest Holmes, on his plans to play in the Pro Bowl February 2, The Kansas City Star
GH: Holmes is being incredibly selfish if he plays in the Pro Bowl on his injured hip. The best thing for the Chiefs is for Holmes to sit out the Pro Bowl and continue to recover from the injury that kept him out of the Chiefs’ final two games.
“I’d give anything — except my family at this point — to have stayed retired. That’s how I feel. Quite honestly, I just fucked it up.”
— Trey Junkin, New York Giants long snapper, who came out of retirement from a nineteen-season NFL career to make two bad snaps that cost his teammates a playoff victory against San Francisco, Fox Sports Radio
“Sometimes that Joe Millionaire guy’s drop-dead gorgeous, and other times he just looks weird. He’s like that two-faced woman on Seinfeld.”
— Johnny Renshaw, Fox Sports Radio
GH: Renshaw auditioned last week on Fox Sports Radio for the vacant cohost spot opposite Kevin Kiley. His story about how he coerced a homeless woman in L.A. to have sex with him in an alley for the price of a roasted chicken from the grocery store across the street is exactly why Renshaw is called “The Freak.“
“Forget about last week’s crazy [NFL] playoff games. My most amazing moment of the weekend happened during a 9:45 p.m. Hollywood screening of Gangs of New York, when a man strolled into the theater with his ten-year-old son and young baby. Here’s a violent, R-rated movie that ends at 12:45 in the morning, and this moron thinks it’s a good idea to bring his children. People in the theater were practically recoiling in horror. I can only guess that the baby’s name was Nochance.”
— Bill Simmons, Page 2 columnist, ESPN.com
GH: Simmons is my favorite new-wave sports columnist. His style is about as far away from the guys I grew up reading as you can get, but it’s so much more enjoyable.