Fun with UMKC’s police blotter: The Drunkorexic Edition!

It was almost exactly a year ago that alarmist, news-magazine types were farting out articles about the newest health problem facing today’s young people: drunkorexia! Even The New York Times got in on the deliciously dangerous issue, which now seems totally overblown.

Since it was being discussed on the coasts a year ago, it makes sense that drunkorexia should take this long to stumble inland and collapse, exhausted, on the stoop of the University of Missouri, Kansas City. Behold, the proof, in the pages of The University News‘ Police Blotter for the date of Thursday, February 26:

8:31 p.m. Alcohol Violation – A student had been drinking for three

days straight without eating anything. She was conscious and aware of

her surroundings but refused to be taken to the hospital.

Conscious and aware of her surroundings after three days of boozing without food? Call me, girl. You qualify as my new drinking partner. I totally have ID.