Free ‘vintage smut’ available at terrifying house in the Historic Northeast. Act now!

Hat tip to Reddit for pointing us toward this gem posted today in the “Free Stuff” section of Kansas City Craigslist. The above photo is accompanied by the following description: 

“Cleaning out the house. Have a trunk full of old Playboys, Penthouse, etc. There is some mildew, but lots of magazines still in ok condition. I’m looking for someone who will take them all and sort them elsewhere. You may want some cardboard boxes to carry them all.”

A few thoughts. 

(1.) Saddest A&W 2-litter bottle ever?
(2.) You couldn’t sweep out some of those drywall chunks before taking the photo?
(3.) One of those magazines looks like it might be called FUCK? 
(4.) Why are they all resting on that white plank? 

Gold star to Reddit commenter Philo_T_Farnsworth for the following comment:

“I’m not interested in the magazines, but how much for the couch?”