Fred Phelps to picket Kevin Smith at the Midland (Plus ticket contest!)

But you knew that already, right? From Phelps’ latest web-missive:

Kevin Smith is a classic worker of iniquity. His favorite lie? “I’m okay, you’re okay, as long as we’re doing things that feel good & don’t hurt anyone.” Well, Kevin, you’ve got a problem: your view is definitely askew! Your life revolves around your insignificant private parts (which you proudly make public, as though someone cares!) & you’re going to pretend emo-Jesus makes that okay. Seriously?

Nice to see the church is familiar with Smith’s work. Makes you wonder how the guy they’ve got monitoring Kev’s Twitter feed (@ThatKevinSmith) feels about all this, especially considering Smodcast just got sponsored by sex-toy manufacturer Fleshlight, and Smith’s propensity for discussing his preference for his wife’s brown to her pink.

Given the fact that there’s probably going to be two groups of people screaming at each out front, you’ll get twice the show when Smith speaks at the Midland on Saturday, March 27. If you want to go and see the spectacle both outside and in, we’ve got a pair of tickets to give away if you can answer the following questions:

1) Name three Star Wars figures mentioned in the Clerks comic book.

2) Who is the villain voiced by Alec Baldwin in the Clerks cartoon?

3) What magazine is the gentleman excited to discover in Clerks, distracting him from his search of for the “hubcaps to a ’72 Pinto hatchback?”

All answers need to be sent to nick.spacek@pitch.com by 5:00 p.m. Thursday. All entries must use the subject line “Sloppy Party Bottom.” No more, no less — all other entries will be ignored. The winner will be announced Friday morning.

EDIT 3/19/10 9:16 a.m.: Contest extended through the weekend!